THAT MOMENT OF TEMPORARY INSANITY

Everything seems so wrong everyone else is happy except you .

You are hurt but there is no wound and no pain killer to soothe the pain.

 Its that pain from within , a pain you don't deserve , a pain that is selfishly inflicted on you by another individual . 

Have you ever been so hurt , or has something ever happened and instead of reacting or crying you're too emotionally drained to react ? 

Thoughts might start flying across your mind at this point or maybe an hour or two later or even a week later. 

Its that temporary moment of insanity where you start reacting to a pain that is so deep within you that nothing can soothe it and you cant control it . 

My moment starts on the onset of the even , the minute i walk into that room and see that other woman , the moment I see that text message , the moment a friend tells me what she heard . 

That insanity overwhelms me and eats me , digs into me and I must release . 

HOW? I open my mouth , at that instant if the offender is within sight I blubber my whole souls and pain to them .

 I dig deep into my heart and soul and tell them what I feel , what I think and how much they have hurt me . I cant normally control this temporary moment of insanity , I am so upset that the next hing that follow is a blow to that person . 

Move back because I will throw that shoe at you ... yes I will regret it soon after this but I am going to slap you ,  try and punch you and make you pay .

 I dont want to hurt you but I want you to feel the way I am feeling . 

I want you to pay for what you have done .

A few moments later my heartbeat has gone down I am thinking now ... ....

Oh no what have I done ? Why did I do that ? REGRET ... 

Then those tears start streaming down my face ." I am sorry for hitting you" "I shouldn't have told you what I really think about you "

 Yes the regret is so much I immediately want to make up for it even though I am the victim .

 My heart cant allow me to become a monster like you . I love people I love it when people smile , when they are happy I don't like hurting anyone . 

Then this regret will last for weeks and weeks , you know you can let go and forgive but its realizing that 2 wrongs don't make a right .

Then I let go and forgiveness follows ..... how long this takes I can never say

That is my temporary moment of insanity .......